Cat's Corner of Montana

So, you guys know I've always wanted a veggie garden. Well, this year I actually started one. These are old pics -- from right after Mother's Day or so when it was first planted -- so the garden's progressed some since then. However, we typically take our time pulling photos from cameras and such. Don't worry. I'll take more of how things are coming along once I get rid of some of the unsightly weeds that have appeared in the interim. I want everything to look purty before I go broadcasting it to the rest of the world.

That's me raking vegetable 'roids Miracle-Gro into the soil to get things off on the right foot. I have no idea whether or not that's the true Montanan thing to do or not, but this is my first farming experiment, so I need all the help I can get!

Here's me actually planting. Pay no attention to that super-confused look on my face. I know exactly what I'm doing. No, really. Why don't you believe me?

So, we've planted corn, watermelon, onions, lettuce, carrots, and squash. The squash, lettuce, and corn are really truckin' by now. The carrots and onions are getting there. Baby Watermelon just made an appearance yesterday and we're happy to welcome her to the fold. This gardening stuff is honestly really gratifying once you see you actually... well... made stuff and weren't just sticking seeds in the ground, you know?

It seems that a lot of people who have read my articles on how to get started as an independent artist, how to figure out what to charge for their work, and so forth still have a lot of question in regards to these matters. However, more than a few of them seem to be coming from people that still haven't asked themselves whether or not they're ready to start selling.

I also see a lot of posts on the forums at Deviant Art and elsewhere requesting general advice in regards to how to figure this out, so I thought I'd write up a quick post to help people determine when they might be ready to start selling for themselves. All of the following would be good signs that you're ready to at least consider it more seriously.

You're honestly good at what you do.

It seems self-explanatory, but this is really the first thing that you should look at in regards to your work. Forget whether or not you've ever shown what you do to anyone else. Ask yourself whether or not you would purchase one of your own paintings if you saw it for sale in a shop or a gallery somewhere.

Also ask yourself whether or not you truly feel you're good enough at what you do to be selling yet. If the answer to either question is "no", then you're not ready. Work on building up your skill level and developing a personal style first. There's plenty of time for selling later.

People ask whether you sell your work or take commissions.

When you get to a point where you're comfortable sharing your work with others, make sure you do so... and not just with your friends and family. Try signing up for a free gallery on a site like Deviant Art, or one of the many others that is there for that purpose and posting some of your stuff for others to look at. You'll get plenty of feedback from lots of people -- friends as well as perfect strangers -- and this is exactly what you want.

When you're good enough at what you do to think about selling, you'll know it. People will start asking you if you offer prints or take commissions. Of course, you'll eventually find out that only a fraction of the people who ask actually pony up and buy, but interest is definitely a good sign that there is -- or could be -- a market out there for your work somewhere.

You're comfortable taking criticism on your work.

A lot of artists aren't, you know. They take it as a total insult every time a client or a random passer-by looking at their gallery has anything other than glowing compliments for them. If that sounds like you, then you're definitely not ready to take on commission clients on a professional level. You might be able to offer prints of existing work, but I personally recommend growing a thicker skin first.

Criticism is simply part of showing your work no matter how skilled you are. It's certainly part of selling it. You should be prepared for commission clients to ask for changes or alterations in your work, because they will. Just try to remember that you're making something for them... not you. The whole point is to make sure they're happy. Criticism is also an important part of growing as an artist overall. Listen to what people have to say and use it to identify where you're weak so that you can become stronger.

You're comfortable selling yourself.

Successful artists are completely comfortable with their work, as well as with selling it to others. They're not afraid to spread the word about what they're selling and they know how to make potential clients feel that they're the absolute best choice for the job. Some work will find you, but if you want steady sales or steady work, you'll have to spend at least a little bit of time making sure people know that you're out there, that you're working, and that you're worth it. If you're too shy or too humble to do this, then you're not ready.

You're comfortable pricing your own work and actually asking people for money in exchange for it.

And by this, I don't mean giving your art away for a song. So many artists give their work away for practically nothing -- or even for free -- and it makes me want to yank my hair out by the roots every single time I see it. I'm not saying you can't do that if you honestly want to. I'm just saying that I personally find it to be a terrible waste.

Think of your work as a product and get comfortable demanding something in exchange for it that makes selling worth it. You also need to get comfortable with deciding what that amount will should be on your own. Only you really know what amount of money will properly compensate you for your time and labor. However, you can certainly conduct research on the matter to help you figure out where to start. Find out what art similar to yours (similar media, skill level, by an unknown, etc) seems to sell for in galleries and online art shops, for instance, or read articles on the subject by those in the know. Don't contact other artists and ask them to tell you what they make. It's considered rude.

Then get comfortable sticking to your guns in this regard. I get tons of people wanting me to produce original art for their book jackets or CD covers in exchange for as little as $5-10 which is completely laughable to me. I have no trouble delivering a flat "no" to these people, quoting them a real price, and letting them know how and where they can contact me if they decide that's in their budget. I suggest you become the same way instead of giving in because you're worried no one else will be willing to pay more.

The truth is a lot of people expect artists to drop dead with the honor of knowing their work is wanted by someone else and do it for nothing or close to it as result. Please don't be one of those people. Demand something in return for your work... or else don't do it at all. Otherwise, you'll never be taken seriously as a professional. Why would someone want to pay you for your work if they know you can be talked into practically giving it away? Until you find a way to sell your work for what it's worth to people that are willing to pay what you ask, you're better off continuing to just paint what you want for the sheer enjoyment of it the way you always have.

You're comfortable being firm when it comes to collecting your fees.

Because some clients don't pay up as promptly as they should. Some try to get away without paying at all... especially if they know you're relatively new to selling art. Unless the client has been referred by someone else that I trust beyond the shadow of a doubt, I personally always demand half of my commission fee up front as a show of good faith. Serious clients will pay it. Clients who planned on just taking the art and running won't.

I also advise not turning over the finished piece until the second half of your fee has been paid as well. Show the client watermarked copies that are only large enough for them to see whether or not the work was done to their satisfaction. When they approve it? Send them their invoice for the remaining fees and give them the finished work after it's been paid in full... not before.

If a client always seems to have an excuse as to why it's not convenient to make a payment that's due and has been for some time? Lean on them. If they have a fee due that they won't pay at all and they won't even return your e-mails? Tell them to pay you or you'll turn them in to collections and then do exactly that if they don't step up. Do you think you can you do that if it comes down to it? If not, then I don't recommend selling yet.

If all of the above bolded statements apply to you and your work, then I definitely think you're ready to think about selling your work or hiring yourself out on a commission basis. If not, I recommend continuing to build confidence, skill, and experience instead. You'll get there eventually and probably a lot sooner than you think.

A friend posted this very interesting article in his own blog today all about how the smarter someone is, the harder a time they're probably going to have in finding a partner or building lasting relationships with other people. I was originally going to respond to it with some of my own insights in a comment to his original post, as I had many, but I then thought it might be something I'd prefer to explore in my own space in more detail and share with my own friends.

It's definitely a very interesting article and I could identify with a lot of it. Throughout the length of it the author made five major points in regards to how intelligent people typically run into obstacles when it comes to dating and forming relationships with others, so I'll list them and respond to each individually. Maybe he's right and my so-called "brains" probably have played a major part in why I haven't been more successful in forming a stable social circle or cultivating lasting romantic relationships over the course of my life.

1. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up.

Here's the odd thing about the "me" I was when I was still growing up. I was more or less effortlessly smart, meaning I didn't fit most people's image of "the smart kid" at all. I didn't spend all my energy studying, worrying about my grades, or dreaming about all the monumental accomplishments I was going to fill my life with. In fact, I didn't even really try when it came to school and I mostly considered "being smart" to be a burden. I was a shy little girl who very much hated attention or being singled out from the rest of the kids in any way, and I saw my so-called incredible mind to be the cause of all my troubles. I didn't want to be special in any way. I wanted to be normal -- to fit in.

Being smart was something I was very ashamed of as a child and made every effort to hide. I treated it like some kind of deformity. It wasn't that I didn't want to identify with others or form strong connections. I just... couldn't. I was too different and I never understood why. My parents and teachers very much wanted me to be more achievement-oriented, but the other thing about me is that I'm incredibly stubborn. If someone thinks they can make me do something, you can bet I'll make damned sure it's the last thing I ever do -- to prove I can't be controlled if for no other reason. It wasn't until later on that I discovered I actually enjoyed being more achievement oriented than I had been previously.

2. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.

I wouldn't say this is true of me. I will admit that I probably feel I'm entitled to a high standard of living because of my achievements, intellect, or inherent "value" to society, but that is because I work hard and make a conscious effort to give back to the rest of the world. I don't, however, feel I'm entitled to love. In fact, I think my biggest problem is that over the years I've become very hardened to the idea of love or friendship. Since it isn't territory I can conquer just by thinking or working hard enough, I've dismissed it as something people like me can take or leave.

Part of this may be due to the fact that I've had very few even slightly deep or rewarding connections with other people over the course of my lifetime. I can clearly see how much such things enhance the lives of other people I know, but I have never really experienced it myself to any degree that could be considered expansive. While I've had many romantic relationships and friendships over the years, very few of them have gone beyond a certain emotional depth.

3. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being, and therefore don't act like one.

This may be correct of me in some ways, but not in any way that people ever notice, if that makes any sense. The author of the article talks about a lot of smart people neglecting their appearance because they identify more with themselves on a mental level. I've never been this way... not really, anyway. It could be in part because I'm an artist and therefore more visually oriented, but I've always been relatively attentive to my physical appearance -- especially when getting ready to go out in public. It's part of how I show respect for myself. While I may do things like forgo "extras" like make-up or elaborate outfits sometimes, I don't like feeling sloppy or dirty by any means.

I've also always apparently been considered to be very beautiful by others -- especially men. In fact, I've typically had to beat them off with the proverbial stick. This is despite the fact that I'm not at all flirtatious or even friendly in many cases. I don't like being approached, bothered, or even noticed by others when out in public, and I personally feel that it shows. However, for some reason people have always read my lack of interest or openness as extreme confidence or "playing hard-to-get" -- attractive qualities to many. In reality, I don't make any conscious effort to attract attention to myself or present myself to others as a "sexy" person. People assume I'm a very sexual, very socially-oriented person solely because I exist in a body I had no hand in choosing, which brings me to my next point.

The article is correct in the sense that I don't really "connect" with my physical body as an actual part of me. I consider my own beauty to be irrelevant and really don't understand why anyone else would consider it important. My body is nothing but packaging to me. I didn't choose it and I don't identify with it. If anything, I find having a body to be incredibly irritating. I sometimes hate that I have to waste time feeding it, cleaning it, or grooming it. I even feel like being required to exist as a physical being actual holds me back in many ways.

4. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.

This is incredibly true of me. I over-think absolutely everything. Sometimes this is a good thing, but when it comes to matters like human connection that must be navigated via emotion as opposed to logic, it just doesn't work. That's really all I have to say about this. The author is right. I probably think my way out of happiness more than I care to realize.

5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect.

This is the truest statement of all. Like anyone else, I want to be around people that I can identify with while still remaining "myself". The truth is I'm not that insecure little girl who was so profoundly ashamed of her intellect anymore. I have grown to truly love being smart and even to consider it to be my defining characteristic. However, I've had to accept that a lot of people can't keep up with me in this department. A lot of people don't perceive or understand the world in the same way I do and they don't share my interest in so-called "smart people" pastimes or interests.

A true partner in any sense of the word is someone I don't have to dumb myself down for for any reason, and in many of my past relationships and friendships, I have had to do that in order to keep the peace. In that sense, it's always been difficult for me to form deep, lasting connections with others even when I really want to. The author of the article suggested three ways of dealing with this part of the issue, which I will address separately. (Yay for bullet lists!)

• Loosen up.

  This is in all likelihood never going to happen. The fact of the matter is that I am still a very stubborn person with high standards. I want what I want the way I want it. I don't want social connections with others just for the sake of having them. If they're not going to bring the kind of fulfillment to my life that other people get from their social connections, then I'd honestly prefer to go without. I like being me, and my social relationships need to be able to accommodate me just the way I am, as well as give me room to evolve.

• Do a very thorough search all over the planet and be prepared to move to Dusseldorf.

  I know he's joking, but my lack of ability to connect with people in my immediate area was exactly why I started socializing online more. I have more of a social life on the internet than I ever had in real life. This is solely because I'm not limiting myself to only the people that live within X number of miles from me. And what's so bad about moving to Dusseldorf? I'd personally love an excuse to live in Dusseldorf. If I were single and looking, I'd almost consider having a chance to experience life in another country or state to be a plus as opposed to a drawback.

• Join a monastery.

  Laugh if you will, but some of you may remember me talking about this subject in the past. If I had grown up in an environment where religious faith played a very large part in my life, I very likely would have at least considered becoming a nun, a missionary, or something similar. It actually doesn't sound like it would have been such a bad life for me.

Trying to figure out what the defining moments in my life have been up until this point really wasn't any easy feat. None of the obvious choices really apply in my case. For instance, like a lot of people, I've been married and divorced. However, unlike most people who go through those experiences, neither of them really affected much about my life or my identity as a person.

I know it sounds terrible, but I more or less got married "just because" and chose to get divorced just as flippantly when it didn't work out to my liking. In both cases, life went on very much as usual for me. Neither event felt at all monumental to me or had much of an impact on who I eventually became. I've always been weird that way though. Other seemingly "big" moments -- like first job, graduation, first apartment -- don't really seem to have much significance for me either.

However, I think I've managed to pinpoint some that do. The odd thing that all my "moments" have in common was that I didn't recognize them as being monumental or life-changing at the time at all. In each case, their importance only became clear long after they occurred.

1. First Art Sale: The first time I ever sold one of my personal pieces of art was very much a defining moment for me. The fact that someone would actually pay their own hard-earned money for something I was as proud of and that I felt defined me as much as my art did meant more to me than I can ever fully explain. Up until that point, I was certainly used to hearing praise and encouragement from family, friends, or teachers in regards to how great they thought my art was, but knowing that perfect strangers who had no reason to want to stroke my ego might feel the same way changed a lot about how I saw myself and my talents. From that moment on, I started to take some of the things I was good at a lot more seriously.

2. First Vacation Without My Parents: When I was younger, I was painfully shy and didn't ever really do much without one or both of my parents right there by my side. This was especially so when it came to going out of town or taking a vacation. I did that for the first time with a friend from work one spring after graduating college. We drove to Las Vegas together -- a good nine hours or so out of where I lived at the time -- and I had a blast. Up until that point, I'd never really been out "on my own" or been free to just do whatever, nor had I ever had any wish to, so I was surprised and delighted when I actually really liked it. I now think of the day I got in that car to go to Vegas as the day I started to become my own person outside of who I was to my family.

3. First Time Buying Groceries With Freelance Money: I was really never someone that could get excited about working for someone else. I hated having to arrange my life around someone else's schedule, let someone else dictate what my time was worth per hour, and wait on someone else's customers for them. In order for me to enjoy or be good at a job, I really have to be personally invested in it and I just don't care about being a cog in the machine of someone else's business. Working for myself is different though. I really care about my customers and the quality of the work I do, and as a result, I take great pride in everything attached to it.

However, as is the case for most freelancers, it took me a while to get to the point where I could actually pay my bills that way, and I actually wondered for a long time whether or not I'd ever really be able to truly leave working for other people behind forever. The moment I realized I actually had was the first time I was able to push a full cart of groceries out of the store that had been paid for entirely with freelance writing money. It was probably one of the proudest moments of my life.

4. Winter 2003-2004: That was the period of my life during which I wound up becoming estranged from a bunch of my core family members. It was also probably one of the only experiences I've ever had that I considered to be truly painful for me on an emotional level. Up until that point, a huge part of my identity related directly to the role I played within my family unit, and without that unit in place anymore, I was forced for the first time to really examine who I was and decide how I felt about that. It was very difficult, but I did it, and although I still wish I could have learned that lesson in a less painful way, I'm still nevertheless glad I learned it. I wouldn't be the same person I am now without the insight I gained.

5. Opening My First Blog: Keeping a journal was nothing new to me at that point in my life, as I'd kept one since I was little. However, allowing other people to read what I wrote was. I was always painfully shy and very introverted -- even as an adult -- and it was unusual for me to really share much of myself with anyone in any way. Starting to share some of my experiences, thoughts, and feelings with what potentially amounts to the rest of the world was an important turning point experience for me.

Although I'm still very much a loner, I'm much better at allowing others into my life and my thoughts than I once was. Blogging was also what eventually helped pave the way to my eventually sharing my artwork with others, taking my writing skills more seriously, and connecting with others to a degree I doubt I ever would have been open to otherwise.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins are you most likely to commit?

Oh, definitely pride. If I have one crutch that I turn to in order to make it through life and help me deal with sticky situations, it's my pride and my overgrown sense of self worth. When you're overbearingly proud, every hurtful occurrence can easily be explained away and swept under the rug by making one of the following statements.

- You don't really hate me. You're just jealous of me and pissed off that you have to be you instead.

- Screw my relationship with you. I'm too good for you anyway, and you should feel lucky I even give you the time of day.

- I don't have to accept your criticism because I'm way more intelligent/talented/successful/attractive than you are. Call me when we're equals and then we'll talk.

- I didn't get that job/date/opportunity because I'm too pretty/smart/talented for my own good. They were just afraid I won't stick around or allow myself to be taken advantage of.

- I'm not going to bother talking this problem out. Instead I'm just going to storm off in a huff and never speak to you again because the best way to punish you is to simply deprive you of my presence in your life.

- I'll commit to a social life/relationship/traditional job position once and for all when I find one that's actually worthy of me. In the meantime... whatever.

See how that works? Every time something bad happens or life doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, you just blame it on how jealous people are of your innate superiority over them. It's really actually quite effective and you almost never have to waste time or energy actually crying or feeling depressed.

No... I'm never sarcastic! What would make you ask such a question?

I snagged this from my friend Ayoub because I thought it was such a lovely idea for a blog post. I also think that it is very true that there are certain things everyone should be able to have said at one point or another in their lifetime. I, of course, have my own slant to put on some of these, which ought to be interesting.

1. Thanks for everything you’ve done.
I may not be as good at thanking people as profusely or as often as I should, but I can recall plenty of instances where I did actually make it a point to make sure someone knew just how much I appreciated all that they'd done for me. I just need to learn how to do it every time.

2. You’ve changed my life.
I've said this to many people... and repeatedly. Sometimes they changed my life by interacting with me in a positive way, and sometimes it was not so positive. However, I've learned to embrace leaving my comfort zone as a good thing -- even when I'm jarred out of it.

3. I need you.
I actually do not recall ever having said this to anyone, and I doubt that I ever will. I personally believe "need" to be an illusion in most cases, and it's hard for me to think of actually needing anyone other than one's self to be positive. I'd personally prefer to be wanted as opposed to needed any day.

4. I’ve only got one life to live.
I say this often, and I have learned to live by it, too.

5. Nothing can stop me.
That's for damn sure, and I'll see to it that nothing ever does.

6. I love my life.
I would one day like to be able to say I love everything about my life and everything in it. However, I can say that overall, I do love my life and I am excited about my future.

7. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.
I can say this at least some of the time, as I have very few things I do that I can't stand. I think that the more one can say this, the better life probably is.

8. I can change the world.
I believe that I already have, at least in small ways. I also believe that one day I will change it in big ways, too.

9. I will change the world.
Well... yeah, duh. I just said that.

10. I have changed the world.
This is hard for me to say, as it's difficult for me to acknowledge smaller achievements as being significant enough to count as "changing the world". However, I am sure that at least in some way, I have changed the world just by existing.

11. I’m rich without money.
I used to think that it was possible to be able to make this statement and have it be true, but I no longer do. Call me superficial and materialistic if you want to, but I'm a realist. Money is important in order to be truly rich or well-off by my definition.

12. I’m doing what I was meant to do.
This is one I can definitely say with conviction.

13. I conquered my biggest fear.
I can say this, but I can't really take credit for it as I had little choice in the matter. My biggest fear was always growing up and becoming an adult.

14. Glad to help you.
You know... to be honest, it's rare that I actually say this and mean it. Having to help someone usually feels like an obligation. However, I'm getting to the point where I'm placed in situations where I am happy to help, which can only be a good thing for all involved.

15. I have all the money I need.
Hrm... yeah, I can probably say this. Do I have as much money as I want? No, but I do more or less have what I need.

16. I don’t care what people think.
I have never given a rat's ass what other people think of me as long as I'm being true to myself. I don't even care when I probably should.

17. I’m honest.
I am. To a fault even.

18. I’m going for it!
This is becoming more and more a regular part of my vocabulary. I'd like that trend to continue.

19. I’m proud of myself.
I've always been a very proud person, and I am especially so these days.

20. I’ve failed.
I've said this in the past, but I will never say it again. I no longer believe in failure, and people who use the word "fail" all the time honestly get on my nerves. The only real failure is in giving up or not trying in the first place.

21. I’ve learned from my failures.
There's that word again that I don't like, but if you want to substitutes "mistakes" or "setbacks", then yes. I can say I've honestly learned a lot from mine.

22. I have no regrets.
I don't. Regret is a damn waste of time and energy. Even the not-so-nice things I've done in my lifetime have helped make me who I am today, and I'm proud of who I am.

23. I don’t like my life.
Oh yeah... I said this ad nauseum for the first 28 years or so of mine.

24. I’ve never had more fun in my life.
I say this a lot and I mean it every time, too.

25. You hurt me.
Something I wish I've had occasion to say a lot less often, but yes. I've said it and often.

26. There’s more to life than this.
There certainly is! Even when life's going well, there's always something more to experience and enjoy. That's the beauty of it.

27. I love you no matter what.
Never said this and never will. I don't believe in unconditional love. I don't care who you are and it doesn't matter how much I love you. There's something you can do that could potentially make me stop.

28. I’ve accomplished a lot.
This is hard for me to say, as I hold myself to extremely high standards. Most people's "a lot" is equivalent to my "not much". I'm working on learning to allow myself a pat on the back once in a while though.

29. You’ve been successful.
I say this to people often, because I know from personal experience how difficult it is to assess the value, or even the existence of your own successes.

30. I’m listening.
Some people would beg to differ, but I'm actually a decent listener. I say this... and show it to the best of my ability.

31. I’m here for you.
I say this a lot. I'm relatively good at this one, actually.

32. Words can’t describe the way I feel.
I've been at a loss for words before, and I've expressed it, but I don't think I meant it the way this statement implies.

33. I’m not giving up.
I say this everyday. It's the stubborn person's mantra.

34. I don’t have any worries.
Yeah... this one will probably happen when I sprout wings and fly to Mars.

35. There is no place like home.
There isn't, but I find that the concept of what "home" means is actually pretty flexible.

36. It was a pleasure to talk to you.
I say this a lot. I almost never mean it. However, there are rare occasions that involve good friends where I do.

37. I have all the time in the world.
If I ever say this, please shoot me. It means I have a death wish anyway.

38. I need a hand.
Asking for help is difficult to impossible for me. However, I'm learning to ask for it when I really need it.

39. You’re my best friend.
Sure, I've said this. Even if my friendship was misplaced, I've always meant it at the time, too.

40. I’m glad you were here.
I've said this a few time. I should say it more often, because I think it more than I say it.

41. I’m just gonna go for it.
Dude... we covered this already. I'm sure of it.

42. I can’t thank you enough.
I thank people when warranted, but generally not this profusely.

43. I’m trusting my gut.
I need to do this more often. Every time I don't, I wind up screwed.

44. I follow my own path.
I don't believe I could say otherwise even at gunpoint. I am annoyingly stubborn.

45. What a wonderful world.
I believe it is in its own way. The world can be quite intriguing and interesting, but it is hard to really have that "whistlin' Dixie" feeling about it all around.

46. I take full responsibility.
I say this often. I believe in owning up to my mistakes and making amends for them.

47. I’m not sorry.
I say this an awful lot. It pisses a lot of people off, too.

48. I came, I saw, I conquered.
I wouldn't phrase it quite that way, but sure. I've said it.

49. I haven’t said enough.
On the contrary. I usually have to apologize for saying too much.

50. I’m not afraid.
I don't believe that fear is a bad thing, to be honest. I feel that it's commendable to be able to admit to being afraid or worried. True bravery is in powering through it and doing what you need to anyway.